UPCOMING MEMOIR
PREY FOR HIM, PRAY FOR HER
Some say there are no victims, only volunteers. As a counselor and therapist who married a narcissist and suspected serial killer, I know firsthand that it is possible to be both.
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My memoir, Prey for Him, Pray for Her, is a cautionary tale about loving too much. In the eighties, before the information age and living in a rape culture, I was employed at a psychiatric hospital in southern Florida. At a flashy nightclub in Ft. Lauderdale, a wealthy, charismatic, and Hollywood handsome playboy named David Miller began pursuing me. The most eligible bachelor from Boca Raton, FL, an upscale seaside community, women were drawn to him like fuzz on Velcro.
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It illustrates how easily intelligent women fall victim to devious men. It examines why good women pick bad guys and how to break the cycle. Avoiding exploitation requires not only realizing who they are but more importantly knowing who we are.
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Trying to fix our partners never works and sometimes love is not enough. The lies we tell ourselves are far worse than those of a deceitful lover. Love does not conquer all, and nothing you can do can change who your partner is. Rationalizing their behavior while giving them the benefit of the doubt and covering for them does little to change their true character. It does, however, erode ours.
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Discovering what we are running to and why is essential for self-awareness. It prevents us from boarding the crazy train driven by others. By sharing my hard taught lessons, I want to prevent you from becoming another casualty or statistic in the name of love.
Memoir
Boca Magazine– “Family money, GQ looks, fast cars, beautiful wives. David Miller had all that – and, some say, a sinister compulsion.”
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Palm Beach Post– “If you met him in a bar, you’d talk to him and find him charming,” said Detective Dave Argenti of the Broward Sheriff’s office. “It sort of reminds you of another guy from Tallahassee,” said Argenti, referring to a charming sociopath named Ted Bundy.
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Sun-Sentinel– “He’s like a shark,” said Robert Stevens, a Delray Beach police detective…He’s got a very dark way about him. He’s a predator.”
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Boca Magazine– “I said, ‘Don’t you think you’ve hurt enough women?’… He looks up at me and says, ‘I need a psychiatrist and an attorney.’ ”
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Females putting themselves in harm’s way for love is a story as old as time, a narrative that must change. Justifying our partner’s questionable behavior can be dangerous. Making excuses for them while underestimating their problems is risky. Trying to fix them never works. The lessons I learned may be applied to anyone dealing with a liar, narcissist, or an addict.
